Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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