its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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