He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize