He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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