Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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