There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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