He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize