there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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