I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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