I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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