thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize