Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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