Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize