oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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