her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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