I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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