I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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