I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw a hot homeless man
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize