I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
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Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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