I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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