cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize