Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize