Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize