This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
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The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
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Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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