have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize