There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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