so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize