I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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