Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
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totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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