I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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