Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize