I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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