..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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