yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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