put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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