Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize