What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize