My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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