woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize