I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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