I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize