no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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