I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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