Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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