do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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