I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize