The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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