If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize