I CAN MOONWALK!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
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