I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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